Monday, July 14, 2008

it's taken a while to come back down to earth {wip}


I set my face to the hillside
Originally uploaded by creating in the dark

I can't believe it's been 2 weeks since I said goodbye to all the lovely ladies I met at the Art Nest retreat in Park City, Utah ... how will I ever find the words to describe such a wonderful experience?

I headed to Utah with a bundle of impossibly high expectations and creative dreams tangled up inside me ... this was my first trip abroad on my own and it was a journey that I somehow felt I *just had to make* ... it's been tricky to explain to people why I felt I had to spend hundreds (and hundreds) of pounds to travel thousands of miles to attend a 3-day art retreat ... not an easy thing to explain to myself let alone anyone else! I can only blame the very persuasive Julie and Candice who somehow reached their caring embrace out across the Alantic and told me "keep following your brave and bold notions" ... how could I turn them down?

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

one small key was all she needed


one small key was all she needed
Originally uploaded by creating in the dark

Oh my poor blog, how I've neglected you! I will be making amends over the next month or so when I share all my exciting news about my trip to the Art Nest Retreat all the way over the pond in Utah! ... More about that soon but for now here's the bundle of joining information that arrived in the mail a couple of days ago ... look at that gorgeous little key ... and the vintage fabric ... oh my word I am in for the time of my life I think :-)

Sunday, February 17, 2008

discoveries


discoveries
Originally uploaded by creating in the dark


A few weeks ago my dearheart and I spent a blissful long weekend in a dreamily swanky penthouse appartment overlooking the sea in Whitby. We had a chilled out break with lots of wandering around and nosing around in cute little shops. One of the shops we stumbled across is called "Shepherd's Purse" and it's an unexpected gem of a wholefood store with a Noa Noa outlet tucked away in the back. The photo on the righthand side is off a dressmaker's dummy in the back of the shop which had all sorts of pretty things attached to it. I loved it so much that I asked the man in the shop if he'd mind me taking photos (which he didn't). About a week later my husband told me he'd got a surprise for me ... lo and behold he'd discovered a dressmaker's dummy in the loft of our house!!! It now stands in my craft room and I'm planning to cover it in bits and pieces like the one I saw in Whitby :-)

Yesterday I caught up with Holly Becker's ever-inspiring blog (Decor8) and was thrilled to see that she's recently done a piece on dressmaking mannequins ... serendipity seems to be having a field day this month!

**Curiouser and curiouser ... I've just found out that Noa Noa have recently opened a store in Copenhagen Airport ... where I happen to be flying from next week, hurrah!**

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Move out of the cage


Heading to the sky...
Originally uploaded by betsybeth76

This picture is a little something that I created for my very lovely friend Lizbet ... I'm really pleased with how it turned out and am just about to start on part 2 :-)

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Long time reader, first time interviewer

Well the day has finally arrived ... I've put on my best frock, transformed our living room to give it an intimate 'shabby chic coffee shop/book store' vibe, dimmed the lights, closed the curtains, lit some candles and thought long and hard about what I'd like to ask my VIP guest of honour ... So please come on in, grab a floor cushion, pour yourself a cup of hot chai or a glass of red wine and make yourself at home for this very exciting interview with the king of creativity ... Dr ... Eric ... Maisel!!! [there's a ripple of enthusiastic applause and everyone raises their glasses in Eric's direction].


for Eric's arrival
(c) Persisting Stars and creating in the dark


Me: Hello Eric and thank you so much for [virtually] travelling all the way to this remotest backwater of the internet, otherwise known as my blog, to talk to me about your latest book launch: The Van Gogh Blues.

Eric (shifting back slightly in his chair and scanning the room for his nearest exit): No problem, it's a pleasure to be here.

Me: Could you start by telling me what Van Gogh Blues is about?

Eric: For more than 25 years I’ve been looking at the realities of the creative life and the make-up of the creative person in books like Fearless Creating, Creativity for Life, Coaching the Artist Within, and lots of others. A certain theme began to emerge: that creative people stand in relation to life in a particular way—they see themselves as active ‘meaning-makers’ rather than as passive folks with no stake in the world and no inner potential to realize. This orientation makes meaning a certain kind of problem for them—if they aren’t making sufficient meaning in their life, they get down. I began to see that this 'simple' dynamic helped explain why so many creative people—I would say all of us at one time or another—get the blues.

To say this more crisply, it seemed to me that the depression we see in creative people was best conceptualized as ‘existential depression’, rather than as biological, psychological, or social depression. This meant that the treatment had to be existential in nature. You could medicate a depressed artist but you probably weren’t really getting at what was bothering him, namely that the meaning had leaked out of his life and that, as a result, he was just going through the motions, paralyzed by his meaning crisis.

Me: When a creative person is feeling blue how will they know if it is 'existential depression' that they are suffering from?

Eric: When you’re depressed, especially if you are severely depressed, if the depression won’t go away, or if it comes back regularly, you owe it to yourself to get a medical check-up, because the cause might be biological and antidepressants might prove valuable. You also owe it to yourself to do some psychological work (hopefully with a sensible, talented, and effective therapist), as there may be psychological issues at play. But you ALSO owe it to yourself to explore whether the depression might be existential in nature and to see if your treatment plan should revolve around some key existential actions like reaffirming that your efforts matter and reinvesting meaning in your art and your life.

Me: So by deciding to be a ‘meaning-maker’ I'm more likely to get depressed by the very virtue of that decision. In addition to telling myself that I matter and that my creative work matters, what else can I do to ‘keep meaning afloat’ in my life? What else helps?

Eric: I think it is a great help just to have a ‘vocabulary of meaning’ and to have language you can use to know what is going on in your life. If you can’t accurately name something, it is very hard to think about that ‘thing’. That’s why I present a whole vocabulary of meaning in The Van Gogh Blues and introduce ideas and phrases like “meaning effort”, “meaning drain”, “meaning container”, and many others.

When we get a rejection letter, we want to be able to say, “Oh, this is a meaning threat to my life as a novelist” and instantly reinvest meaning in our decision to write novels, because if we don’t think that way and speak that way, it is terribly easy to let that rejection letter precipitate a meaning crisis and get us seriously blue.

By reminding ourselves that is our job, not only to make meaning but also to maintain meaning when it is threatened, we get in the habit of remembering that we and we alone are in charge of keeping meaning afloat—no one else will do that for us. Having a vocabulary of meaning available to talk about these matters is a crucial part of the process.

Me: In chapter 3 of Van Gogh Blues you guide readers through the process of encapsulating their life plan into a single sentence that can be used as a blueprint for keeping us on track and living a life which we find meaningful. How do we know when we've succeeded in crafting a sentence that truly encapsulates what represents meaning for us? My life plan sentence is: 'To make art that 'sings of the page', to help others unleash their own creativity and to find creative ways to live my life so that moments of anxiety are always outweighed by feelings of wonder and purpose' ... how do I know whether I've really got to the heart of what is truly meaningful to me and not just completed the task at an intellectual level?

Eric: There is no way to know except in the furnace of living and by honorably analyzing our own efforts. Nor is it likely that your life purpose statement will last a lifetime, since your circumstances may change, your experiences may cause you to change your mind, and new meanings may arise to supplement or replace old meanings. A life purpose statement is your best guess of this moment as to how you want to represent yourself and what you want to do with your life. It is only that much—but that is still a lot. If your own warning bells go off that your life purpose statement is not exactly true, then you know your job—to bite the bullet and repeat the process! But you may want to first test it out in the crucible of reality, to see if perhaps you have landed on exactly the right statement for the moment.

Me: In Van Gogh Blues (and also in many of your other books) you touch on the problem of temptation and how we as creators (or would-be creators) can get caught in a constant battle against various temptations which we use to sabotage our own creative intentions and which leave us feeling generally pretty rubbish about ourselves. How can I adjust my behaviour so that creativity is the thing that keeps on tempting me rather than all the various temptations and dramas that can all too easily distract me from time to time.

Eric: To say it in an extreme way, we act as if those temptations rise to the level of addiction—an addiction to distraction, an addiction to adrenaline, an addiction to checking emails, or whatever it may be—and determine to enter in a recovery program as solemn, serious, and regular as a recovery program from alcoholism. My co-author Dr. Susan Raeburn and I have described just such a recovery program, one geared to the specific needs of creative people, in a book called Creative Recovery that will appear this Fall from Shambhala. Another approach is to institute a regular, seven-day-a-week creativity practice, where we show up at the same time every day (at five in the morning, say), and create a habit that is so sturdy that distraction has no way in. I describe the details of such a creativity practice in The Creativity Book.

Me: Well the candles have nearly all gone out and our glasses are all but empty so that must mean it's time to let you go on to your next stop on the tour. Thank you for stopping by and even more for providing me with a lifetime of straight-talking inspiration which has been of immeasurable help to me as I stumble along my own path of creative recovery.

[n.b. For any readers of this who are here in the UK ... if you've had any trouble understanding Eric's responses just replace the 'Z's with 'S's and 'Fall' with 'Autumn' and you'll be just fine ;-)
Also if anyone out there is wondering what they could buy me for Valentine's Day, here's a hint ... don't be shy about clubbing together if you need to]

Survival Kit No. 1: Creativity {Eric Maisel}

In honour of Eric Maisel's visit to my blog I thought I'd do a creativity toolkit focused on the many ways that you can introduce a daily dose of Eric into your life.

My introduction to Eric's work began when I bought Fearless Creating which is a creativity workbook and source of inspiration that I dip in and out of every once in a while. The quotes in the side panels are worth the price of the book on their own. Growing up I was taught that good girls didn't write in books, particularly ones they love deeply. Fearless Creating was one of the first books I allowed myself to truly engage with by underlining, asterixing and filling in some of the exercises.

my wild faces
Originally uploaded by creating in the dark


Visit my flickr photo set to see some more of the pages I've marked up :-)

Next I bought Eric's 'Creativity Book' which is of a format and size that makes it perfect for keeping in my handbag to dive into whenever I find myself at a loose end while I'm out and about.
Creativity Book

I can't recommend Eric's free weekly newsletter highly enough - it's impossible to ignore Eric's words of wisdom when you're getting a shot in the arm from him every Sunday ... priceless.

Eric has two podcast shows, The Joy of Living Creatively and Your Purpose-Centered Life.

Other books on my 'Eric Maisel wishlist':
A Writer’s Space, on sale in the US in April, in which Eric looks at many existential issues in the lives of writers.

Creativity for Life
- discusses the challenges of having an artistic personality and how we can make creativity a central part of our life and our work.

Oh and pretty much any other book by this ridiculously talented and wise creativity guru

Friday, February 08, 2008

Yay!


Yay!, originally uploaded by creating in the dark.

Tomorrow the wonderfully inspiring Eric Maisel is coming ... here ... to my little blog! We're going to talk about the meaning of life and light fluffy stuff like that ;-) I have no clue whether anyone out there will be coming along for the ride but I'm getting my best china ready just in case. I haven't *quite* finished my preparations for the grand arrival but as Eric is over in the US of A I figure I've got time zones on my side :-)

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Secret Sauce update

I mentioned *a while ago* (in this post) that I'd bought Sophie Nicholl's inspirational e-book: 'Hypnotic Journaling'. I had planned to have finished it all by now but a mixture of a stupidly hectic month at work and my procratinating ass has meant I've only had a chance to go back and re-read the introduction and the first chapter. I made a conscious decision not to run ahead and read through the whole book until I'd made a serious effort at the exercise in the first chapter ... I'm sooo glad I made that decision because I had a total revelation while I was working on it (more on that another time!).

But what I really wanted to tell you was that I met Sophie again a couple of weeks ago (I was sober, she was just as lovely as I'd remembered). Sophie told me about a few exciting ideas she has for workshops (psst ... one involves creative writing and hand-made jewellery ... intriguing!). A few days ago Sophie announced a 'Word Sauce' creative writing workshop which she's holding in York - I signed straight up and can't wait ... Sophie describes the workshop as "a special Sunday of delicious writing exercises designed to get your creative juices flowing and helping you to (re)connect with the 'real' you - that deep down source of infinite happiness and confidence."

With all my Maisel-inspired work on creating meaning at the moment, Sophie's workshop couldn't have come at a better time :-) I have a slightly strange 'on the cusp of something big' feeling which is exciting and scary at the same time ... Mr Maisel arrives in a few days and [blog exclusive] in a month or so I'm gearing myself up to open an etsy shop to sell some of my art and photography ... eeek!

ready to jump, originally uploaded by creating in the dark.

Friday, February 01, 2008

A few things you should know about me {Part 1}

I thought that the arrival of a few new friends to my blog would be a good chance to tell the world a bit more about me by giving you a glimpse at the things and people who inspire me ... I'm having a little trouble uploading images so please click on the images to see them in their full glory on my Flickr stream (and go visit the very talented photographers' photo streams while you're there)

I have a lot of creativity locked up in a million different boxes inside me. I've spent the last few years searching for keys that fit each box and unlocking them one by one.

unlocking my hopes and fears
(c) Persisting Stars and Tamara Paetkau

I get a kick out of helping people and love red shoes so I relate to Dorothy

my Dorothy complex
(c) EvilxElf, Garden Hoe, Clumsy Girl and Laura Wood

I am captivated by fragile beauty and jewel-like colours

fragile beauty
(c) f/1.4, Travis bda, vani-tea and Persisting Stars

Monday, January 14, 2008

Everyone look busy, Mr Maisel's coming!

People say you should never meet your heroes lest they horribly disappoint you and make you forever disillusioned with all those people you've carefully been placing on pedestals over the years ... I've managed to avoid this risk of certain disappointment by interviewing one of my heroes instead ... as announced just over a month ago, the ever-inspiring Eric Maisel will be stopping off at my humble little blog on February 9th. So in just under a month I'll be hosting Eric as part of his virtual book tour for a new edition of 'Van Gogh Blues'. I have the chance to ask Eric questions about his book and just about anything else that's related (I guess) ... no of course I'm not scared, nope, not scared in the slightest. To be honest my mind is a big gaping void of nothing-ness exactly where all the 'questions for Eric' should be piling up ... it's practically like meditation in there! It's also fairly blank when I try to recall what I was thinking when I put my blog forward as a host. Still I'm looking forward to it and am feeling so honoured when I look at the company I'll be keeping on this tour ... just take a look at my immediate neighbours ...



Appearing directly before me is http://janallsopp.blogspot.com/ - Jan has some gorgeous prints and sketches on her blog ... she also owns a Gocco printer (so jealous!) and has just opened a beautiful etsy store - if you love teacups and graphic prints full of charm then you'll feel right at home.

Then following after me is http://annemarchand.blogspot.com/ - Anne is a painter whose paintings are vibrant expansive canvases full of energy, movement and a sense of quiet kind of drama ... I'm smitten with her colour-filled cityscapes - they're the perfect antidote to the wet and gloomy weather we're currently having here in York :-)

Eric's tour kicked off today with his first stop at http://www.gabrielleswain.blogspot.com ... I'm not looking until I've had a go at coming up with my questions, but don't let that stop you heading off and taking a peak - I'll catch you up :-) You can follow the rest of the tour by taking a look at the tour schedule here.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

a gift to myself

I've been going great guns with my photography in the last year and I've even been doing a teeny tiny bit of art but while I was reading Poemcrazy and Foolsgold (by Susan Wooldridge) around Christmas it struck me just how much my writing has really fallen by the wayside. I have an awful lot of words swirling around inside me that would probably benefit by being released into the ether ... you never know, it could even help quieten down my monkey mind a notch.

Serendipitously enough I recently opened my regular helping of 'secret sauce' from Sophie Nicholls (a friend of a friend who is a professional hypnotherapist and passionate about creative writing). The newsletter announced the launch of Sophie's e-book 'Hypnotic Journaling' ... now I can't emphasise enough how cynical I am about e-books ... in my experience 99.9% of the e-books I stumble across on the web look like the author is pulling a fast one and trying to trick me into buying the book equivalent of the emporer's new clothes. But having met Sophie earlier at a party last summer (she was lovely, I was slightly tipsy) I decided to throw caution to the wind and treat myself to it in a spirit of 'new year, new me'. I downloaded the e-book the other day and I'm already loving the warmth of Sophie's writing style. I'm being strict with myself and not reading any more until I've done the first exercise but I'll let you (my imaginary blog audience) know how I get on :-) In the past I've had a tendency to greedily race through books without doing the exercises so I can always tell just how good a book is by whether it inspires me to stop and put pen to paper instead of racing to the finishing line telling myself I'll go back and finish the blanks in later, which of course I never do!

Friday, December 07, 2007

Survival Kit No. 1: Creativity

I feel like a main theme of my life has been the gradual return to creativity that I naively abandoned as a 13 year old girl (more on that later). I think my journey back started around 10 years ago and more often than not has involved me slowly inching my way up the down escalator at rush hour. Sometimes I've skipped all the way to the top, artfully avoiding the flood of people heading in the right direction, only to get distracted and find myself frozen to the spot as the escalator carries me all the way back to the bottom again, travelling backwards all the way. Other times I've doggedly trod water on the bottom step as I aim for the top but manage only to not fall off the bottom. On a few, ever-so-rare, occasions I've scampered up and down the escalator like a giddy fool having the time of my life and enjoying the bemused attention of onlookers. Well I could go on with this escalator analogy all day but eventually my fear of falling over on escalators will rear it's ugly head and I'll be telling you all about my 'being eaten by the teeth at the bottom of the escalator' daydream that I have to supress *every single time* I step onto one ... shudder!

This first survival kit is a place for me to dump all the things that aided me in my creative recovery. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to organise things but I'll start by telling you about the people who have been the hugest influence on me over the past decade and we can go from there. I'll order it alphabetically just so there's some kind of order as I add more and more :-)

Anaïs Nin - On a fateful valentine's day in 1998 my beloved gave me a copy of Delta of Venus. Something about it unlocked a part of me that I had buried deep inside and I started writing poetry again.

Natalie Goldberg - some strange serendipitous path led me to a book stall at the 1998 WOMAD festival ... through my 'all day spent drinking' tipsy state of mind I was somehow drawn to buy a small book called 'Writing Down the Bones' ... reading it was like coming home to me, simply life changing.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

My blogging dilemma

Given that one of the gods of creativity will soon be darkening the doorstep of my much-neglected blog I have been racking my mind as to how I can get into the blog habit. I think I've realised that unless I am unemployed I will always struggle to balance work, loafing and sleeping with posting to my blog despite my very best intentions. Happily I've got past the point where I feel like I'm failing because I'm not posting everyday or weekly or regularly or at all for months on end ... I no longer equate my blog with all the many, many, many started-but-never-kept-up-for-more-than-a-few-days diaries of my childhood and adolescent years ... but having said that I still have a burning aspiration that involves blogging as a kind of online archive of what I thought and did over the years. After much humming and hawing I think I might have struck on a way of blogging that will keep me guilt free and will allow my blog to grow in a way that means something to me.

So, ladies and gentlefolk it is without futher ado and immense pleasure that I present to you the ever-expandable Creating in the Dark Survival Kits. The idea is that I'll start a blog entry for each survival kit and keep adding to the same entry every time I come across a new gem to add to the treasure chest. Really they will be survival kits for me because I am forgetful about how much joy there is in the world and this will be a place for me to remind myself what is so lovely about being on my journey on the days when I forget.

My first survival kit will of course be creativity ... let the great 'blogging for procastinators' adventure begin :-)

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Making space for art

After many, many, many months of wanting (hoping, meaning, planning) to go to ArtSpace in York I finally did it! I went with a couple of friends on Friday which is their 'Art Jamming' night with music, wine and everyone enjoying making art. I've had a painting in my head for ages that was inspired by a photo I saw on Swirlygirl's blog (damned if I can find it now) so I had a go at painting that ... here's the result:

fake painted trees

It started off life the other way up as lights hanging from the night sky but I like it this way - one of my friends said it looks like futuristic trees and I think she has a point :-)

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Hostess with the mostess

A few weeks ago I was reading my weekly dose of creativity inspiration from Eric Maisel. When I got to the end of his newsletter there was an intriguing update note at the end which read:
"So far hosts have come forward for about three weeks of the Van Gogh Blues virtual book tour (a tour that goes from blog to blog). Please think about hosting me, even if you don’t have the most active blog in the world, as hosting me on the tour will increase exposure for your blog (the tour creates that kind of synergy) and may give you the impetus to begin or resume your blogging. So drop me an email if this intrigues you — I hope it will!"

I normally wouldn't give this sort of thing a second glance but something about it did intrigue me (especially the bit about not having to have the world's most active blog) and after a tiny bit of procrastinating I swallowed down all my doubts and emailed Eric to offer my blog as a host ... and he accepted my offer!

So on Saturday 9th February I will be hosting Eric Maisel's book tour for his 'Van Gogh Blues' book! I have no idea what is involved but I'm looking forward to finding out :-)

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Illustration Friday: Rejection

Life is mega hectic at the moment but I had to make time to do a quick illo for this week's challenge (as it was me that suggested the word many moons ago) ...

illustration friday: rejection

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Slight return no.2

Yesterday I got a very pleasant surprise in my inbox ... a word I suggested for Illustration Friday has been chosen for this week's challenge ... and given that the word I suggested was 'rejection' I think challenge is probably the right word :-} My first thought was 'shucks, that's cool' ... followed very quickly by my second thought which was 'aaagh, I haven't posted to my poor neglected blog for ages and all the nice people at IF who venture onto my blog will be disappointed by the dusty words and pictures they find languishing in this forgotten corner of cyberspace'. So I thought I'd write a welcome note to let any new visitors know I'm still very much alive :-) The reason my blog hasn't been touched since last October (yikes) is that I am now a total Flickr addict - you can see my stuff here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/creatinginthedark/

The funniest thing about my word being picked is that I made the suggestion many, many moons ago as a reaction to receiving a rejection letter for a job I'd applied for back in February 2005 ... you can read my blog post on the topic here.

So anyway here's to pleasant surprises and breathing new life into old blogs :-) Have fun with this week's challenge and I can't wait to see how you creative bunch react to it ... hell I might even give it a go myself - only fair I suppose :-)

Saturday, October 28, 2006

52 Figments - Betsy Beth


Lizbet ...
She brings sunshine to every season but blossoms on long, lazy summer days when her birkenstocks and jewel-painted toes leave a trail of sunbeams wherever she goes.
She lights up rooms like a million twinkling fairylights reflected in champagne bubbles and candle-lit crystal chandeliers.
She is brightly coloured beach huts, Mr Moos icecream, wet pebbles glistening like gemstones on the beach and a lighthouse guiding me home.
She is a knitting goddess playing on swings, walking the long way back and cycling through fields full of sunset and golden sunflowers.
She is cross-legged picnics with good wine, good friends, an endless supply of olives, ducks as office pets and laughter like Rowan Kid Classic.
She is a glittery collage bursting with colour, inspiration, easy beauty, bravery, truth, kind questions, passion and fun.
She is not perfection but she is perfect as she is. She lets me stand in the dark while holding out a hand of stars and moonlight and her hugs are like comfort blankets made of angels wings.
She walks softly and lovingly through my sometimes fragile thoughts: joy-bringing, soul-sharing and the very sweetest of friends.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Update: here's what the lovely Lizbet said about me ... I can't read it without a few tears of joy welling up in my eyes :-)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Total Neat Freak ;-)

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

Monday, August 07, 2006